Lesson Learned
by Jai Marie
The sun was high in the sky, and although it wasn't terribly hot, Harry felt stifled. He wandered alongside the castle, listening idly to Bill and Mrs. Weasley as they chatted about Quidditch, Garden Gnomes, and anything except hair length and Muggle clothing. He answered curtly and politely their questions about the first two Tasks, although the last thing he wanted to think about at the moment was the Tournament.
"Are you scared, Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked, her face dark with concern.
"Of course, any sane person would be scared," Bill answered for Harry, which he was thankful for. "But Professor Dumbledore wouldn't allow any harm to come to them, you know that."
"It's been so dangerous so far," Mrs. Weasley replied, twisting a handkerchief in her hand. "From what I've heard, and from what's been reported in the papers..."
They were rounding the corner of the castle, and Harry could see the transformed Quidditch Pitch in the distance. His stomach lurched and fell; he really had no desire to see it at the moment. This day had come too fast for Harry's liking, and he had an overwhelming desire to just run. "Hey, could I have a little time alone, if you don't mind?" He suddenly blurted out.
"Sure, Harry," Bill said with an easy, understanding smile.
"Of course, dear," Mrs. Weasley said, although she looked quite wounded by the request.
"You'll see him at the feast, Mum," Bill chided, taking her by the arm and leading her around the other side of the castle, pointing out something across the grounds. "See you later, Harry!"
Harry waved to Bill and Mrs. Weasley and watched them walk into the distance before heading back around the wall of the castle, so he couldn't see the Pitch. With it out of sight, he tried to push it out of mind as well. The Third Task had been dominating his thoughts for the past two days, and his head felt so full that it could explode. The entire year had been like a nightmarish pressure cooker, and he wondered how much more he could take. Between the pain in his scar, his fear for Sirius's safety, and concern for the honor of Hogwarts--let alone his own life--in the Tri-Wizard tournament, it truly had felt like a nightmare. He silently prayed to wake up, and for the nightmare to be over. He had been praying for that for a long time, and it still hadn't happened. It didn't look as though there was much hope now.
Harry spied a line of large boulders some distance away, and headed toward them. They seemed like the perfect place to hide from the world and organize his thoughts. He climbed onto the lowest one, which still required some effort, and peeked down over the other side to make sure there wasn't something dangerous.
Instead, he was met with a pair of solemn gray eyes. Apparently he wasn't the only one who had wanted time alone.
"Cedric," Harry said, crouching on the edge of the rock and glancing around for another place to go.
"Harry," he replied, smiling slightly. Then, noticing his uncertainty, "come on down. There's plenty of room."
There didn't seem to be any better place to go, so Harry jumped down into the soft grass, taking in the view from the other side of the boulders. The lawn sloped down gently about twenty or so feet, the lush green broken by a fairy ring halfway between the boulders and where the grass suddenly ended in a steep cliff that fell down to the lake below.
"I come to this place a lot when I want to think," Cedric said, and his demeanor seemed to Harry as though he felt like he was sharing something special, although Harry couldn't figure out what he'd done to be privy to anything important. "I found it during my Fourth Year when I was upset after Hufflepuff was eliminated from the running for the Quidditch Cup. I was sure we were a shoe-in that year." His voice caught a little, and Harry couldn't push away a small bit of guilt. Cedric continued, "I usually have a charm on it. Whenever someone gets near, they remember they have something important to do in the Castle. It's done wonders for my sanity."
Harry chuckled a little, thinking that maybe after Cedric left school, he would have to claim this place for himself. He felt as though he was rapidly losing whatever sanity he had left.
"Speaking of," Cedric said, pulling out his wand from his robes and turning over. He sat back and made a figure in the air with his wand. "Defendo!" He sat back down, smiling slightly. "Two's company," he said, not finishing the adage. Harry nodded in agreement. Being with Cedric was all right--anyone else, even Ron or Hermione at this point, would be a bit much. Cedric didn't ask questions.
"Handy spell," Harry finally said, although he felt he was making unnecessary small talk. They weren't there to converse.
"My father taught it to me," Cedric said, sighing a little. "It's a less powerful version of the one they used at the Quidditch World Cup to keep the Muggles away."
Harry couldn't suppress the sharp laugh that escaped him at the mention of the Quidditch World Cup. It had been less than a year ago, yet it seemed as though it had been lifetimes. So much had changed since then, and Harry found himself wondering that if he could go back to that time and place, what he would do differently to avoid being in the situation he was in now. "Quite a man, your dad," he said awkwardly.
"I'm really sorry about him, Harry," Cedric said with a sigh, plucking at a dandelion and pulling at its petals. "I don't know why he has to make everything in life a competition."
Harry looked at him, and judging from his expression, he could only imagine what would happen if Cedric lost this one. "You don't have to apologize," he said. "It's not your fault."
"I feel like it is, though. You don't deserve to have that heaped on you."
"Deserve?" Harry's voice was slightly shrill, unable to hold the thoughts that had been rattling around in his mind for months any longer. "Cedric, you were chosen because you are the bravest and best Hogwarts has to offer. I was chosen by a fluke because I'm Harry Potter. Once... just once I would like to win something or get something because of what I have done, not because of who I am. I haven't done anything to deserve this. I didn't want this. I still don't want this. You can tell that to your dad."
Cedric shrugged a little, sighing and tossing what was left of the dandelion aside. "Oh, he wouldn't care. He'd just find something else to push me about. Cho keeps telling me I have to stand up to him, tell him that I'll decide what's good enough and what's important. It's just easier said than done."
"Cho?" Harry echoed before he could even stop himself, his voice a bit choked. He could almost feel himself turning green before Cedric's eyes, but he continued anyhow, glancing over at him. "I didn't even know you two were a couple, until the Yule Ball."
"A couple?" Cedric asked, clearly bewildered for a moment. His face then broke out into a too-wide smile, one that belied a bit of nervousness. "Cho and I aren't a couple. She's just one of my best friends." Cedric scrutinized Harry's expression for a moment, weighing something in his own mind. "Why does it matter?"
"Oh... no reason... I'd just asked her to the Yule Ball, and she went with you instead, and I just..." Harry realized he sounded ridiculous and stopped, picking at the grass.
"Oh," Cedric said slowly, an awkward silence settling between them. Finally, he said, "Cho and I grew up together. Our parents are good friends. When Professor Sprout told me that I had to have a date for the Yule Ball... well, it just wasn't as easy as that for me, you could say."
"Believe me, I know," Harry said with a grousing roll of his eyes, but when he met Cedric's gaze again, something told him that this had more to do with mere annoyance.
"There just... I couldn't go with a girl as my date. It would be a lie to her and to everyone else. Cho... she understands... how things are." Cedric was now distinctly avoiding his gaze, and Harry slowly put two and two together.
"Oh! You're..." He couldn't quite figure out how to say it. Was 'queer' offensive? Homosexual sounded so technical. He'd heard Uncle Vernon call them 'poofters,' but anything Uncle Vernon said could hardly be complimentary.
"Gay. Yes." Cedric looked at him cautiously, relaxing a bit when it became obvious Harry wasn't going to do something terrible to him. Harry could understand why Cedric wouldn't want that to become public knowledge, though--Malfoy and his lot were intolerant enough to make his life incredibly miserable for someone like that, someone different. Still, Harry also had to admire Cedric's desire to stick to his principles and not mislead one of the many girls who had thronged for his attentions during the days leading up to the Yule Ball.
"So you'd rather have gone to the Yule Ball with a bloke, then," Harry said with a little laugh, thinking about that.
"Right on," Cedric said, unable to suppress a grin. "It would have been much more fun... the dancing anyhow."
Harry pondered this, a flush creeping into his cheeks at the thought of ditching girls altogether, and he shook his head to refocus himself. Cedric was watching him with a bemused look, and when their eyes met, Harry's curiosity got the better of him. "So, who?"
"Who?"
"Who would you have gone with?"
"Well," Cedric looked sideways at Harry, finally giving a shrug. "It's sort of moot now, but if he was still in school I would have fancied taking Oliver Wood."
"Wood?" Harry asked, jaw dropping a little. Of course, he couldn't completely blame Cedric, once he thought about it. The former Gryffindor Quidditch captain was quite handsome, talented, and was never at a loss for admirers. He also, in Harry's eyes, had to be one of the straightest men on the planet.
"Cho and I would fight over him sometimes," Cedric said with a chuckle, obviously in subconscious agreement with Harry's assessment of Wood. "I think she stood a better chance at any rate."
"It's not like you're a booby prize," Harry said suddenly, hating the thought of Cedric putting himself down, when he was just as handsome, and quite possibly a great deal saner. "You're just as handsome as Wood, and talented at Quidditch as well, and you're nicer than half the boys in the school..."
Harry trailed off, cheeks suddenly flaming red and unsure what had come over him. That wasn't the sort of thing he would normally just say to someone, but in the past few months he felt as though he had come to some sort of understanding with Cedric--he wasn't the same person he'd thought he was before this Tri-Wizard Tournament, and now, yet again, he had changed himself in Harry's eyes. Harry cleared his throat. "I guess I'm saying that just because Wood's not... that way... you know... his loss."
Cedric smiled, a genuine smile and he reached over, patting Harry on the leg. "That's the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me on the matter. Thanks for being understanding."
Harry shrugged dismissively. "No reason not to be understanding... I'd be no better than Malfoy is to Hermione if I wasn't."
"You'd be surprised how few people think that way," Cedric replied, sighing and leaning back on the rock. "It's different than being a Muggle-born, or a half-blood. That's your blood, your genes... you don't have any control over that. Many folk think that preferring men is a choice, and not something that's as ingrained in you as magical power."
"Why would someone choose to do something that would arouse so much hatred?
That doesn't make any sense," Harry said with a frown.
"No, but prejudice in general doesn't make sense. You should know that." Cedric rolled his head to the side, looking over at Harry. Harry thought he looked suddenly quite weary and vulnerable.
"I do," Harry said quietly, looking down at his lap. "And it comes in more forms than just against gays or Muggles. All it takes is for one person to get a preconceived notion of you and what you should be like, and then God help you if you don't live up to it."
"Sounds like the words of a man who speaks from experience," Cedric said quietly.
Harry shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe it's not the same thing. It's not a race, or an orientation, but sometimes I think being The Boy Who Lived is just as bad."
Cedric's dark eyes swept over Harry's form, and he stretched his long legs out in front of him, crossing them. "The fame?"
"It just seems that everyone thinks they know me. They think they have a right to know everything about me. They want to be around me because I'm Harry Potter, not because they actually know the first thing about me. I suppose that's why I..." He stopped suddenly, not wanting to admit to Cedric that he had been jealous of him.
"I think there's more to you than a legend, Harry. You just always keep to yourself and your little group of friends, so nobody else ever gets the chance to get to know you. You need to talk to people, and once they get to know you, they'll like you for you. Sort of like me now," he added with a chuckle. He raised his eyebrow expectantly, apparently waiting for Harry to finish his sentence. "You..." Cedric tilted his head, in a look that reminded Harry of a curious puppy. Men just weren't supposed to be that endearing.
"I... was jealous, I suppose." Harry shrugged. Cedric had already outed himself, so there wasn't Harry could do to top that as far as risk. "Jealous that people just like you. Jealous that you got where you are because you are good, and you are deserving."
"It all comes with a price, Harry..." Cedric replied. "Success, no matter how you achieve it." He waved a hand. "My father, the way you're treated... and then there are those who have never tasted it, who would give anything to be either of us."
"They just don't understand," Harry said glumly, thinking of Ron and Hermione. Suddenly, a realization came over him, and his stomach lurched. He turned his eyes up to Cedric, who was watching him curiously. "But you do." His voice caught in his throat, and he quickly cleared it, cursing puberty--which may or may not have been a culprit--and trying to think of a way to change the subject and get the heat as far away from his face as possible again.
"Er, so... anyhow... back to the Yule Ball..."
"Right..." Cedric, ever intuitive, stroked his chin and looked toward the sky to think. "Well, there is Viktor Krum..."
"Krum." Harry snorted, thinking about Ron's reaction at the Yule Ball. He hadn't thought about it before, but now that Cedric had put the thought in his mind, Harry considered that it would have been much more fun all around if he had taken Ron to the Yule Ball. Not only would they have been able to hang around each other all night and roll their eyes at how stupid everyone else was being, but they wouldn't have had to put up with Parvati and Padma. Harry found himself idly wondering what the wizarding world would do if The Boy Who Lived announced that he was gay and attended a Yule Ball with his best friend. He figured it would probably make Cedric's lot in life--and those like him--much easier. "What am I thinking?!" Harry almost screamed out loud, but luckily managed to confine it into his brain, and he returned to the conversation in time to catch the end of whatever Cedric was saying about Krum.
"...Took your friend to the ball, didn't he?"
"Hermione? Sure did," Harry said distractedly, making a face and almost feeling bad for Cedric that there didn't seem to be anyone at Hogwarts for him.
Cedric nodded and laughed. "I'll tell you something I saw in London last summer when we went to Diagon Alley to get supplies for school this year. I went out and was browsing through one of the Muggle Bookstores outside the Leaky Cauldron, and there was a magazine for gay Muggles called The Rainbow... and the cover story said, 'Are all the Good Ones really straight?'"
Harry couldn't help but laugh at that, although he couldn't figure out why.
"I'm beginning to think it's true, though," Cedric continued, sighing and putting his arms behind his head.
"Nah, I doubt it," Harry said, mirroring Cedric's posture, the warm sun making him a bit drowsy, although his heart was beating strangely fast. "There's too many men in the world. If there's anything I've learned in my life, it's that just when things look their bleakest, something always happens."
"I'll have to remember that," Cedric said, glancing in the direction of the Quidditch Pitch, although they couldn't see it from where they were sitting. Both were silent at the small reminder of what awaited them.
"We've still got time," Harry said quickly, turning his gaze back to the blue infinity that stretched out before them.
"It's almost over with," Cedric replied, sighing. "After this, it'll all be over with, and we'll go back to life as normal."
"Do you think?" Harry asked, turning toward him again, looking at Cedric's hands folded behind his head and suddenly wishing he had a hand to hold, somewhere to cry, be scared, and be not very Champion-ish at all. "What is normal after you've faced down a dragon?"
"True," Cedric chuckled, stretching his hands above his head and dropping his arms to his sides, a move that made Harry's heart beat even faster. He put his own arms behind his back to keep himself from doing anything embarrassing. "But just think of the experience this gives. Try to look at it as something positive. You've faced a dragon, you've rescued the one that means the most to you from what you thought was certain death... and whatever lies ahead... it'll make you stronger too. You'll be a better person for it."
"I think that's why they don't let fourteen-year-olds into this Tournament," Harry said glumly. "You're so calm about it."
"Calm?" Cedric laughed. "Harry, I'm bloody terrified." Harry looked at him in disbelief, and Cedric smiled. "I've been terrified every time. But what good does it do to let it get the best of you? Dwelling on it won't make it go away. I just try to think about something else."
"If dwelling on it would make it go away, it would have been long gone by now," Harry replied ruefully. "I don't know how many nights I've spent wishing this had never happened. This should be all about you, Cedric, not me."
"What did I just say, Harry?" Cedric's hand was suddenly cupping his chin and making him look up into his face, in an attempt to secure his full attention. Harry gasped at the touch. His skin was warm and smooth, and his fingers were long and slender--perfect for grasping a snitch.
"Think about something else," Harry replied, his voice barely a whisper. His head swam for a moment when Cedric pulled his hand away, bowing his head a bit.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he said sheepishly. "I just can't stand to see you beat yourself up over something you had no control over. That's just as much of a crime as what you believe has been done to me."
"It's all right," Harry said, unconsciously bringing his fingers to his chin. "You're right, maybe we shouldn't talk about this."
Cedric nodded. "We probably shouldn't talk about the maze, either..."
Harry shrugged. "There isn't much to say about that, is there?"
"No," Cedric said quietly, picking a stray dandelion seed off of his robe. "No, there isn't."
A strange silence settled between them, but it wasn't exactly uncomfortable, and Harry felt no desire to leave it. Being with Cedric felt safe for some reason, and the unexpected confessions that had passed between them made Harry feel as though they shared something a bit deeper, even if it was really just an illusion brought on by his fear of the impending Third Task. Still, the frankness of their conversation allowed Harry's curiosity to get the better of him, and he decided to heed Cedric's request for a subject change.
"So have you ever actually... been... with a guy?"
Cedric's attention snapped up from his robe quickly, and his eyes widened. "Been with? Like... sex? Well, no," Cedric said slowly, a blush creeping up on his cheeks.
Harry nodded, considering this. "Then how do you know for sure you're gay? Isn't that what tells you?" It seemed an honest enough question.
"Well, I've kissed guys before," Cedric replied defensively.
"Who?" Harry asked almost automatically, but a warning look from Cedric made him drop the question quickly. "But, I mean, that's still not everything you could... What I mean is... well... what happens if you don't like it?"
"I don't know..." Cedric frowned.
"Do you even know how? How do guys even..." He'd heard Dudley say things that gave him a general idea about how it was done, but until this point he'd never cared enough one way or another to think about it.
"Well, I've read things," Cedric said, scratching the back of his neck. "I guess if the time comes then I'll just figure it out..." His voice trailed off as he crooked his head down to look Harry square in the face. Harry mentally cursed his overactive curiosity for again getting the better of him as he leaned up a little, Cedric inching forward in response, and then suddenly, as though someone had come up behind each of them and given them a shove, their mouths met in an awkward, dry-mouthed kiss.
Harry's mind began to spin again, wondering what on earth he was doing, and more importantly why he was doing it with Cedric Diggory of all people. He hadn't expected his first kiss to be with a guy, let alone his rival for the Tri-Wizard cup, but if someone had told him that his first kiss would be with someone kind, understanding, patient, and not bad looking to boot, he would have thought it perfect. The fact that Cedric was a man, and the fact that until his earlier musing Harry had never even put any thought to his sexuality--let alone questioned his orientation--seemed to make this usually straightforward rite of passage infinitely more complicated--rather like the Tri-Wizard Tournament had done to Harry's life.
Their lips then parted and the mildly surprised but pleased look in Cedric's eyes repeated silently to Harry what Cedric had said before: don't dwell on it. It sounded like a good idea. Harry didn't want to dwell on anything any more, except the fact that this felt good--damn good. It was impossible to think of mazes or monsters when you were trying to wrap your mind around kissing another man, and that was the best reason of all.
After sizing each other up for a silent moment they slowly leaned forward again, heads tilting one way and then another in an attempt to figure out the best angle to kiss. Harry found that his glasses kept getting in the way as well, hitting the bridge of Cedric's nose or scraping the side of his face. Every kiss was preceded by a murmured "sorry" or "excuse me," although that didn't deter them from trying. Eventually Harry found an angle that seemed to work, although it involved tilting his head in a strange position that made his neck ache after a while. He wondered if making out required a warm-up under normal circumstances.
A gentle touch to the back of his head made him forget all about his neck woes. It amazed Harry how something simple as fingers sifting through hair could make such a great difference in a kiss, but Harry felt his world rock at the sensation. He mirrored the action, touching Cedric's hair, and finding it thick and heavy, but clean and soft. It reminded him of something expensive and fine.
Cedric's mouth then opened a bit, and Harry wondered if he was going to say something. When the warm wetness of what could only be his tongue pressed to Harry's lips, he realized quickly what was happening and passively opened his mouth. He wasn't sure how to tongue kiss, and hoped that Cedric knew what he was doing, trying to keep his tongue out of the way as Cedric's swept through his mouth. It was a strange feeling, but not really unpleasant, until Cedric suddenly pulled away, looking at him a bit anxiously.
"Don't you like that?"
"Like what?" Harry asked, touching his mouth, which felt like he had slobbered all over it.
"French kissing," Cedric replied, blushing at the words.
"With the tongue? It was fine," Harry said with a little shrug, watching Cedric's reactions carefully. He didn't want to hurt his feelings.
"You weren't doing anything," Cedric said hesitantly.
"Doing anything?" Harry felt a little foolish; no wonder it had felt strange, if he was supposed to have been doing something.
"Well, you know," Cedric began then stopped, because Harry obviously did not know. "With your tongue."
"I'm not just supposed to stay out of your way?" Harry laughed a little nervously, hoping that making an attempt at humor would make him look slightly less stupid than he felt.
"No, you're supposed to do the same thing," Cedric said, smiling a little lopsidedly, seemingly searching for words to describe it.
"All right," Harry said, moving toward Cedric again, now eager and curious. He wanted good memories of this Tournament, good memories from this year. He wanted to experience life, like he was sure others his age did, when everyone wasn't afraid of them or had a preconceived notion of them, or was in awe of them.
Their lips met again and Harry opened his mouth a little, hoping he did this right. The last thing he wanted to do was make a bigger idiot of himself. He felt the wetness of Cedric's tongue enter his mouth again, and he hesitantly lifted his tongue to meet it. The contact made him shiver, and he felt the roughness and softness of Cedric's tongue. It was a strange feeling, and at first Harry wondered how it was that the Seventh-Year Gryffindors could spend so much time doing this, but even as his jaw began to ache from holding his mouth open, his body began to shiver and react to the feelings.
Cedric's tongue eventually retreated, and Harry suddenly felt as though he was trying to suck Harry's tongue back into his mouth with him. He panicked for a moment before it occurred to him that it was exactly what Cedric was doing. He hesitantly pushed forward with his tongue, shocked to hear himself moan when he tasted the inside of Cedric's mouth. It tasted like the honey ice cream they had served for dessert at lunch, combined with another, indescribable taste that was almost intoxicating. Harry wondered if it was rude to moan with your tongue crammed into someone else's mouth.
They continued their experimental kissing, and Harry tried to focus on the nauseatingly good feelings it sparked in him, and on the heaviness settling in his groin, and not the fact that his mouth ached, he kept hitting his teeth against Cedric's, and that he was drooling like a baby. Cedric eventually urged Harry to move so he was facing him, so he scooted around on his knees, moving closer until he was almost straddling Cedric's knee. He tried very hard to keep from touching Cedric's leg, because he didn't want him to feel the effect that simple kissing had on his body, but Cedric pulled him insistently closer, until Harry's leg was pressed into Cedric's crotch, and he froze.
Cedric was hard as well. Very hard. Harry's stomach flopped, and his body relaxed, allowing his own erection to press against Cedric's leg. Both froze, tearing their lips from each other and staring into each other's eyes, gasping.
"We can't do this... you're too... too..." Cedric panted, suddenly pulling away and looking incredibly conflicted. Harry probably would have admired his integrity on any other occasion, but his hormones were beginning to get the better of him.
"Too what?" Harry challenged, furrowing his brows and looking up at Cedric, his body screaming in protest at having the pressure of Cedric's thigh removed from his groin. "Too young? Too straight? Too Harry Potter? The Tri-Wizard Cup seems to think I'm old enough to be in this tournament," Harry replied, inwardly shocked at the absurdity of his reasoning and the insistency in his voice as he urged Cedric closer again. "I think I'm old enough for this."
That broke Cedric's resolve and he shook his head, a small smile creeping across his features once more as he leaned forward and kissed Harry again. Harry responded in kind, curious, and eager, and not wanting to stop, because if he stopped he might never get the courage again.
"What do you want to do, Harry?" Cedric asked when they took another breathing break. Harry thought Cedric looked as nervous as he felt.
"Well, you said you were curious... and you hadn't ever..." Harry could barely bring himself to say it; he wasn't sure how he'd get himself to do it if the moment of truth came. He could scarce believe he was even thinking it, but it had rapidly become the sole focus of his mind.
"You want to do that? Have sex? Now?" Cedric looked around, obviously conflicted, and Harry blushed furiously. He suddenly felt very 'easy.'
"Well, it was just a thought..." Harry adjusted his glasses distractedly and shifted back on his heels.
Cedric looked at him, then looked toward the castle. "You're sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure!" Harry cried out, then quickly shushing himself, wishing Cedric wouldn't try to talk him out of it when his own nerve was barely holding on. "I'm positive!"
"All right then..." Cedric took hold of Harry and eased him onto the warm, lush grass, kissing him again. It felt different to kiss laying down, but it was nice, and it also meant it was even less likely that people would see them. He stiffened a bit when he felt Cedric's hand on the zip of his trousers, and Cedric's hand paused at his reaction. "You can't shag with your clothes on, Harry," he said.
Harry nodded dumbly. He knew that, and yet for some reason it hadn't occurred to him until now. He nodded a little, and Cedric unfastened the button and tugged down the zipper, untucking his shirt from the waistband.
"I don't know how smart it would be to take it all off," Cedric continued, his hand flattening on Harry's bare stomach. His hand was warm and soft, as it had been on his face, but this touch was incredibly intimate and intense. Harry nodded thankfully, head spinning still from the touches, as he mirrored Cedric's movements. He tugged Cedric's shirt out from his trousers and pushed it up, revealing a lightly muscled torso and slender belly, a smattering of dark hair around the navel continuing below his waistband.
Harry stared in fascination at what he could see of Cedric's body, comparing it mentally to what he saw in the mirror every morning. His muscles held a lot more definition, and there was that hair that fascinated Harry and made him incredibly curious as to where that trail led.
Cedric followed suit and tugged Harry's shirt and jumper up, moving immediately to kiss his chest. Harry gasped and almost jumped away, but then lay there and submitted to it, trying not to hyperventilate or tear a hole in his pants. Apparently when Cedric said he'd kissed guys before, he didn't just mean on the mouth. He lay there helplessly as Cedric's lips and tongue caressed over his body, the light breeze making the wet trails chilly and giving Harry goose bumps. He bit his lip so hard it bled when Cedric sucked a nipple into his mouth, and nearly had to pull his head away because he thought he would faint. He had touched himself sometimes in the dark confines of the drawn curtains of his bed, but it had never felt like this.
"Is it okay?" Cedric finally gave him a respite and looked up at him, dark eyes glimmering.
"Yeah," Harry gasped softly, thinking that it wouldn't be okay if he made a mess of his trousers.
"We don't have a lot of time," Cedric said, glancing down to the prominent bulge in Harry's pants. Harry blushed hard enough to make Ron jealous, and felt slightly dizzy.
"We'd better get moving, then," Harry said, not even sure what he was really saying.
Cedric nodded, his hands moving to his own trousers. Harry mirrored his actions, glad that their robes would preserve their modesty in case his wards somehow failed. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers, and taking a deep breath to deepen his resolve, pushed them down, carefully easing them over his erection. Cedric did the same, and Harry gasped at the sight of him. He'd seen plenty of other guys nude, but not aroused. His cock was surrounded by a thick patch of dark hair, and curved toward his belly, the foreskin pushed back from the glistening head. It was quite thick and in Harry's eyes, incredibly impressive. His own arousal was nearly as long, but not as thick by any means. He hoped Cedric wouldn't notice.
If he did notice, he didn't mind, because Harry felt those smooth, long fingers wrap around his shaft and squeeze. He bit down on his lip again, squealing with the pain, but it kept him from losing his control and embarrassing himself.
"You all right?" Cedric asked, and Harry nodded, teeth still embedded firmly in his lip. He stared into Cedric's eyes, his vision a bit blurry despite the fact that his glasses were still firmly on his face, and let his hand slip hesitantly downward, stopping when he felt the light dusting of hair beneath his fingertips, almost afraid to go on.
"It's all right, Harry," Cedric said, giving Harry's erection another squeeze, eliciting another embarrassing squeal. Harry nodded, slipping his fingers downward and lightly touching the taut, silky skin of Cedric's erection, stopping in shock as a very familiar sounding squeal sounded, but not from him. Cedric's eyes were closed, a strange smile on his face, and Harry realized quickly that the sensation was just as new to him as it had been for Harry.
"All right, Cedric?" Harry whispered, trying to put some confidence back in his shaking voice, wrapping his hand around his shaft and moving it slowly up and down.
"Y-yeah. All right," Cedric echoed, swallowing convulsively and throwing his head back, gritting his teeth and breathing through them. Harry stared at him, slightly bewildered. He wasn't doing much--granted, it didn't take much when touching himself to get a reaction, but he figured Cedric wouldn't have as difficult of a time as he did, being older. He had apparently figured wrong.
"Do you think maybe we should get on with it?" Harry asked, glancing over at the sun in the sky again and wondering what time it was. This was all terribly awkward, and he thought maybe cutting to the chase would be best for both of them. He still didn't want to stop. They'd gone too far.
"Yeah, let's," Cedric said, hunting around in the pile of their trousers haphazardly. Harry suddenly felt very exposed sitting out on the grass with his shirt pulled up and his pants off, so he pulled his robe around him, watching Cedric, who seemed less preoccupied with his blatant nudity and more concerned with finding whatever it was he was looking for. Finally, he produced his wand.
"Er," Harry stammered, wondering what exactly Cedric was planning to do with the wand. The few mental images he had of sex between men didn't make the prospect very appealing.
"There are spells, you know, to make this easier," Cedric explained hesitantly, and Harry had a feeling they had reached the limit of his experience.
"All right," Harry said, curious and a bit fearful. "So what do I do?"
"Well," Cedric said slowly, "do you want to top or bottom?" He stumbled over the last three words as though they were marbles in his mouth.
"Top or... oh," Harry realized what he was talking about before he asked the rather awkward question, and pondered the pros and cons of each quickly, since he'd never placed a moment of thought on such things before in his life. "Well, you know more what should be done than I do... maybe you should... er... top." Harry mused that he was starting to sound queer already.
"But I'm bigger than you are. I don't want to crush you." Cedric glanced nervously at his wand, and Harry still wondered warily if spells were all he planned on doing with it. If that was the case he definitely didn't want to be on the bottom.
"I don't think you'll crush me," Harry said nervously, glancing around. The longer they waited, the more doubts that sprung up in his mind. "We don't have a lot of time to think about this, Cedric."
"I know, I just want it to be right," Cedric said, still fiddling with his wand, which was making Harry very uneasy.
"We're half-dressed, hours before the Third Task, out on the Hogwarts Grounds--I don't think you have a whole lot of control over the situation, Cedric!" Harry exclaimed in frustration. His erection was growing painfully heavy, and he was nearly ready to take matters into his own hands.
"Fine then," Cedric said, looking quite disappointed, giving his wand a bit of a swish and flick, which made Harry cringe.
"What are you doing with that?" he finally asked.
"Trying to remember the spell," he said, frowning. "I read it... somewhere..." Cedric's flush deepened, and Harry could only imagine where he'd read it.
"Can we do without it?" Harry asked. He was starting to get chilly despite the warmth of the sun beating down on his black robes, and he was starting to fear his erection would disappear--it usually had a habit of popping up completely unexpectedly, and then going away just as unexpectedly. It would be decidedly embarrassing if that happened here.
"I suppose," Cedric said with a thoughtful frown. "Muggles must do it all the time..."
"How?" Harry asked, his voice breaking again, much to his embarassment.
"I don't know," Cedric sighed, obviously quite embarrassed. "This isn't turning out very well..."
"It's my fault," Harry said quickly, interrupting him. "I'm the one that pushed you..." He stopped suddenly at the sound of footsteps swishing through the grass.
"And after zees year, ah'll move to an apprenticeship..." a soft, lilting female voice interrupted their argument.
"Fleur!" Cedric hissed, quickly moving as close to the rocks as possible and pulling Harry with him. Harry tried to control his breathing, which in his ears sounded like a locomotive, but it wasn't easy with Cedric's erection pressing into his ass, a sensation that was completely new and frighteningly good. He also struggled to stay still, although he couldn't help but wiggle experimentally, gasping at the sensation the friction caused.
Cedric gasped too, and hissed in his ear, "Harry, stop it!"
"What was that?" A male voice Harry recognized as Roger Davies said. He and Fleur must have been taking a walk before the Third Task as well.
"Ah don't know," Fleur said, and he could hear the two sets of footsteps growing even closer. "Eet came from over he--sacre bleu! My cloak!"
"Your cloak?" Roger asked, confused.
"Oui! Eet ees in zee castle!" One set of footsteps took off in a run away from the rocks, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief, especially when the second set took off after it, Roger calling out, "But Fleur, it's the middle of June!"
Once the footsteps had disappeared, Harry giggled nervously. "Guess your charm worked," he said, wiggling again experimentally against Cedric.
Cedric moaned. "Yeah, I guess it did." One of his hands slid up Harry's leg and cupped his hip, and he rocked a bit against Harry, giving him more of that wonderful friction. They moaned in unison, and Harry looked back over his shoulder.
"Maybe that's how Muggles do it," he said, voice quivering. "Maybe they just do it. No spells..."
"Maybe," Cedric said, still lightly rocking and appearing to appraise the situation. "Want to try it?"
"We have to try something," Harry ground out, pushing back against him a bit more. "We can't compete in the Third Task like this!"
Cedric nodded. "Do you want to do it like this? Or on your back? Or on all fours..."
"Why so many questions?" Harry anguished. He always imagined sex to be a rather carnal and abandoned act, and this was more like one of Professor Snape's pop quizzes. Cedric looked at him pleadingly, however, so Harry replied in frustration, "On my back, I suppose, if it's all the same." He figured that way he could watch what Cedric was doing, so he could remember for next time--that is, if there was a next time.
"All right," Cedric said, moving away so Harry could lay on his back. He did so, and spread his legs, which in itself felt obscene, but when Cedric moved between them, his robe covered them both and made Harry feel slightly better. "I don't think this is going to hurt..."
"Hurt?" Harry asked suddenly, tensing when he felt the wet pressure of the head of Cedric's cock pressing against him below. Feeling something pushing against his arse was strange enough; nobody had ever mentioned anything about pain.
"Well, I heard sometimes it can be a little... uncomfortable..." Cedric said, rubbing back and forth against him, the sensation soon becoming slippery and quite nice. Harry sighed and closed his eyes, fixing his glasses, which kept being knocked crooked.
"All right, I guess we'll see," Harry said, opening his eyes again to watch Cedric, who looked like he was concentrating a great deal. He then felt the pressure again, only more insistent. "Cedric...?"
"This is how it's done, I'm sure of it," Cedric grunted, pushing some more. It wasn't getting much of anywhere, and the feeling was starting to go beyond discomfort.
"Cedric, I don't know about this!" Harry panted, feeling him pushing past the resistance, the pain growing even worse and the sensation changing to one of being very, very full. Suddenly it was gone, and he felt Cedric slide along the underside of his body again, growling in frustration.
"I think you've got to relax, Harry," Cedric said, reaching down and trying to guide himself in again.
"I'm about as relaxed as I'm going to get, Cedric," Harry replied through gritted teeth.
"Are you sure?" Cedric grunted, pushing more, trying to get further in than he had before.
"Yes!" Harry said, gasping at the pain, groaning when he slipped out again.
Cedric echoed the groan, raking a hand through his hair in frustration.
"This isn't working," Harry groaned, squirming a little at the sensation of Cedric rubbing against him again.
"One more time," Cedric said, trying to push in again, but the fluid leaking from his cock made it even more slippery and difficult. "Oh no... oh!"
"What?" Harry asked, worried at the sudden frantic look on Cedric's face, then gasping as he felt something warm and wet over his thighs and ass. For a moment he panicked, then he realized what it was and groaned in disappointment.
Cedric, panting and shaking, braced himself above Harry with one arm, and while still rubbing against him below, gripped his cock and began to stroke it insistently. Harry gasped and arched his hips. "Cedric!"
"Come on, Harry," Cedric whispered, and Harry was releasing before he could even comprehend what Cedric had said. It happened with a loud, rather frightening grunting sound, as though someone had punched him in the gut rather than brought him to the pinnacle of pleasure. Cedric's hand came down over his mouth as he continued to stroke, until nothing more came out.
Cedric moved off of him, reaching a shaking hand for his wand again. "I'm sorry about that, Harry," he said, casting a cleaning spell on himself, taking three tries before pronouncing it correctly. "I guess you didn't expect your first time to be like that..." He sighed and slumped a little as he hunted for his boxers. "I know I didn't."
Harry felt slightly disappointed that it had been so short, and was at a loss for words. What do you say to a person when you've just lost your virginity to them? That thought just added to the confusing swirl of thoughts and emotions in his mind. It wasn't as though he was in love with Cedric; he barely even knew him. Suddenly, the situation was twice as awkward as before.
"Was it at least... all right?" An uncharacteristic glimmer of self-doubt flickered through Cedric's countenance as he knelt over Harry, casting the cleaning spell on him as well and handing him his clothes.
"All right?" Harry hardly had a basis for comparison, and Cedric knew it, but as he pulled his clothes on he answered as honestly as he could, "I've never felt anything better."
Cedric smiled and nodded, apparently accepting that. And it was the truth: Harry had never felt anything quite like that, and if it hadn't been for Cedric, he probably never would have. The experience had left him curious, wanting to know more and feel more. Finally, the words he'd been looking for came to him. "Thanks, Cedric."
"Thanks?" Cedric asked, standing up and helping Harry up as well. They each brushed the grass off of each other, then stood facing each other. "For that disaster?"
"It wasn't a disaster," Harry said, shrugging his shoulders a little. "I think it's the sort of thing Professor Dumbledore would call a 'learning experience.'"
Cedric laughed. "I'm not sure that's what he has in mind when he talks about learning experiences, Harry," he said, reaching over to pick a few stray pieces of grass from Harry's hair.
"It takes all kinds of experiences," Harry said, leaning into his touch a little. He had decided a man's touch felt good--very good--and wanted to feel it as much as possible. "And in all honesty..." He glanced up, a bit shyly. "I don't regret it was you."
Cedric smiled and blushed. "I'm glad," he said, then on impulse leaned down and kissed Harry again, letting the kiss linger for several moments.
Harry reached up and wrapped his arms around Cedric, enjoying the kiss while it lasted. He knew it would be the last they'd share before the beginning of the Task, but in the corner of his mind and heart, he hoped it wouldn't be the last they would ever share. Cedric had shown him the power of knowing himself, and the reality of living and loving--it wasn't perfect by any means, but that didn't stop it from being good.
Harry felt as though he had started on the path toward learning to be something beyond the name "Harry Potter," and as he squeezed Cedric's hand then released it, he felt for the first time he had something to look to beyond the Third Task besides the tournament being over with. The two shared a smile before parting ways, and Harry felt himself blushing and eager to see Cedric again, to talk more, and perhaps explore more as well. He had a feeling he still had a lot to learn from Cedric Diggory.
If you enjoyed this story, please return to the SEARCH RESULTS page and leave a comment, or send an e-mail to Jai Marie
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